Bully Interventions for Parents/Caregivers

In today’s society, bullying is being taken to an extreme where kids are fearful of peers/attending school, self-harming, traumatized, committing suicide and have low self-esteem amongst many other things. It’s a topic that has been normalized in the past and written off as usual kid behavior. However, is usual kid behavior more harmful than it used to be?

Bullying is difficult to prevent however following up with your children, school officials and other youth can soothe a bullying event and cause less damage to the child if there is a quick follow-up.

Have routine conversations with your children about appropriate and inappropriate talk with peers.

  1. Teach them how to express their emotions and manage them.
  2. Notify school officials to report the bullying and get a clear understanding of their policy and what next steps are going to be taken on their behalf.
  3. Provide your children with extra support and positive affirmations to help them positively view themselves.
  4. Speak with them about bullying and attempt to refrain from showing aggressive emotions in response.
  5. Show that you’re in control so that they feel protected giving you the information.
  6. Encourage your child to think about how it would feel if they were the other child who is being bullied.
  7. Teach them alternative ways to control & manage their anger ie: talking about their feelings to a friend or family member, reading a book, journaling, or doing physical activities.
  8. Keep them involved or connected with a community agency that encourages self-love and teaches life skills.

Check out our Wellness Services & Products page for additional resources.

Shawnee Palmer, LCSW, LAC
Alpine’s Empowerment Agency, LLC
Shawnee@alpinesempowermentagency.com
Bj’s Bookstore
Reiki/Coaching

Limited, Emotional Support System

Are you always considered the strong one within your family, a circle of friends, colleagues or relationships in GENERAL? Tired of feeling like you have no outlet to expressing yourself and seeking guidance?

The role that you play in other’s lives is mighty but pouring from an empty cup leaves you, well EMPTY! Here’s an article that gives you tips on things that you can do to overcome feelings of not being supported.

Be sure to download your free worksheet on “Converting Your Weaknesses into STRENGTHS!”

Life can be hard however, you don’t have to just let it be! You have the power to do so much more!

Here are some ways to better handle having a lack of support within your life:
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1. Make a list of specific things that you desire to have support on ie: relationship issues, entrepreneurship challenges, expression of feelings towards stressors, etc.

2. Write about your ideal support system and visualize what that would look like.

3. Identify people who have been willing to be supportive of you and spend more time with them.

4. Identify those who have not been supportive and minimize expectations of them. Find alternative things that they provide you with and set boundaries with yourself to prevent the build-up of negative emotions towards them.

5. Connect with people who have similar interests as you.

6. Attend networking or social events by yourself. By doing this, you will place yourself in a position to connect with more people.

7. Seek support groups within your local area or via online communities.

Check out our Wellness Services & Products page for additional resources.

Shawnee Palmer, LCSW, LAC
Alpine’s Empowerment Agency, LLC
Shawnee@alpinesempowermentagency.com
Bj’s Bookstore
Reiki/Coaching

Adult Sibling Rivalry!–It DOES exist!

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Ever had an issue with a sibling as an adult and it felt like the end of the world? When you were a kid and got into a disagreement with a sibling, you probably had the issue one minute but was back to playing with each other the next minute. As an adult, it probably feels like you have lost your best friend and feel disappointment along with anger. Have you ever realized that those emotions linger on a little longer than you would have liked? Have you thought to yourself, “Man, I would love to pick up with phone and call my brother or sister, but we are not talking at the moment?” These emotions often happen with adult siblings. Everyone is older now and has a different mindset versus how they thought about things as a child. The way that adults think is based on their personalities, experiences and values and beliefs.

Do you often feel that your values and beliefs do not align with your adult siblings? This is a major component. When you think and act differently from others it is necessary to understand their point of view and how it aligns with yours. For example, if you once had a sibling that was highly supportive of you and then you start to notice their behaviors changing over time towards you, ie: lack of support of jealous remarks. Most likely this person has some issues within themselves based on their own personal experiences that have caused them to shift their attitude towards you.

Ever felt like you wanted to verbally attack a sibling because of their irrational behavior? Maybe the thought has come across your mind? Well, do not do it! If you’ve at some point in your life, had a close and loving relationship there is hope that in the future you will be able to have that again. Even if you aren’t as close, you could at least be social with each other during family functions. Or if children are involved, such as either of you having children that have a good relationship with the sibling, it’s important to think about all parties involved and how it will affect them.

Repairing a relationship with a sibling often requires a lot of patience and time. Are you feeling the need to start working towards it? If so, that’s great, I have some tips on ways that you can work towards that. If you are not ready, that is fine also. Sometimes we have to take a step back and focus on ourselves before we are ready to repair a relationship with another person.

Tips:

  1. A desire.
  2. Open Mindedness.
  3. Clear communication and ideas about what you have issues with.
  4. Ability to understand or meet the other person where they are at.
  5. Realize what you have control over how you respond to everything. Allow things to be a lesson learned rather than identify the situation as an emotion.
  6. Confrontation techniques. Be mindful of the tone and body language.
  7. Active Listening.
  8. Accepting harsh feedback.
  9. Responding with clear thoughts.
  10. Things to consider prior to speaking with them irrational vs rational thoughts about speaking with them.
  11. Set an intention for the purpose of the talk prior to speaking with the other person.

HAPPY HEALING FOR ALL!

-Alpine’s Empowerment Agency

Overcoming Fear

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I had the pleasure of jumping off of this cliff into the water with my 11 year old son on July 28, 2018. We were with family at a beach. The cliff was only 10 feet from the water but it looked like it was 100 feet. Yes, I am being dramatic! I was filled with so much fear that I knew it was time for me to overcome it. We walked to the cliff and looked down then changed our minds. We weren’t ready so we turned around to walk back to the beach area. Then all of a sudden I got a sudden feeling that we needed to take that leap. I thought to myself “This is going to open new doors for our bond.” So I spoke with my son about trying it again. He was all for it. So we talked & hyper ourselves up on our way back to the cliff. We walked up, held hands and jumped off the cliff! While I was in the water, I felt like I was drowning even though I had on a life jacket. I kept trying to gasp for air meanwhile, I look over at my son and he’s doing fine. He was acting normal as if nothing major had just happened while I was panicking! After a while I was able to gather my thoughts and focus on getting out of the way so that the next set of people could jump. All of this was within a few minutes time frame, however it felt like it was an eternity!

I then reflected on the event after I was calm and later again a few days after the jump.

I had intentions of holding my sons hand throughout the entire experience. Well my son told me I let his hand go before we jumped in the water 😂. Everyone else told me I had this puzzled look on my face. He handled it all very well during and after the jump, while I, on the other hand was gasping and moving slowly & repeating to him “I can’t breath,” while barely opening my eyes.

The thing about anxiety is that we sometimes create these irrational fears. Fears of the unknown or fear of the action that we take potentially causing damage in some way. Sometimes it’s necessary to take that risk to experience what the outcome would be for us.

4 Things I Learned That Day:

  1. Fear held me back from holding my sons hand throughout the course of the event.
  2. Fear stopped me from enjoying the experience.
  3. Pushing myself to do the activity opened up a bunch of thoughts where I felt fearless, powerful & happy.
  4. I am in total control of what I fear. I have a choice of whether or not I want to let go of the fear.

Overall, the activity did not go as planned but I accomplished something I had been holding off on doing. I now imagine, “What if I had done it sooner?”

Picture yourself doing something that you strongly desire but having fear that it will not work out as planned. If you do it now, you will be able to grow from the experience sooner rather than later.

Download my mini workbook to help you start overcoming that fear! *Click Here*