Ever had an issue with a sibling as an adult and it felt like the end of the world? When you were a kid and got into a disagreement with a sibling, you probably had the issue one minute but was back to playing with each other the next minute. As an adult, it probably feels like you have lost your best friend and feel disappointment along with anger. Have you ever realized that those emotions linger on a little longer than you would have liked? Have you thought to yourself, “Man, I would love to pick up with phone and call my brother or sister, but we are not talking at the moment?” These emotions often happen with adult siblings. Everyone is older now and has a different mindset versus how they thought about things as a child. The way that adults think is based on their personalities, experiences and values and beliefs.
Do you often feel that your values and beliefs do not align with your adult siblings? This is a major component. When you think and act differently from others it is necessary to understand their point of view and how it aligns with yours. For example, if you once had a sibling that was highly supportive of you and then you start to notice their behaviors changing over time towards you, ie: lack of support of jealous remarks. Most likely this person has some issues within themselves based on their own personal experiences that have caused them to shift their attitude towards you.
Ever felt like you wanted to verbally attack a sibling because of their irrational behavior? Maybe the thought has come across your mind? Well, do not do it! If you’ve at some point in your life, had a close and loving relationship there is hope that in the future you will be able to have that again. Even if you aren’t as close, you could at least be social with each other during family functions. Or if children are involved, such as either of you having children that have a good relationship with the sibling, it’s important to think about all parties involved and how it will affect them.
Repairing a relationship with a sibling often requires a lot of patience and time. Are you feeling the need to start working towards it? If so, that’s great, I have some tips on ways that you can work towards that. If you are not ready, that is fine also. Sometimes we have to take a step back and focus on ourselves before we are ready to repair a relationship with another person.
- A desire.
- Open Mindedness.
- Clear communication and ideas about what you have issues with.
- Ability to understand or meet the other person where they are at.
- Realize what you have control over how you respond to everything. Allow things to be a lesson learned rather than identify the situation as an emotion.
- Confrontation techniques. Be mindful of the tone and body language.
- Active Listening.
- Accepting harsh feedback.
- Responding with clear thoughts.
- Things to consider prior to speaking with them irrational vs rational thoughts about speaking with them.
- Set an intention for the purpose of the talk prior to speaking with the other person.
HAPPY HEALING FOR ALL!
-Alpine’s Empowerment Agency